Week 8 Update and the not so desirable aspects of surrogacy

The baby has been growing for 6 weeks now and s/he started off as about 20 cells and is now the size of a raspberry.  Amazingly the baby will continue to grow at about a millimeter a day and looks more like a baby and less like a salamander.  I only have 32 weeks to go left of this pregnancy and only 4 more weeks of this stinking medicine!! 

This week I have experienced my first craving.  Salt and Pepper.  Really?  It can't be something fun like fruit or candy?  No it is salt and pepper.  I have been eating cucumbers everyday and putting salt and pepper on those, then taking the last few cucumbers and dragging them across the plate to get the left over salt and pepper.  When we were at Chick-Fil-A last week, I had a salad for dinner.  When I was up getting condiments, I smelled the black pepper through the packets and had to have it on my fries and salad!! 

While people think about the warm and fuzzies of surrogacy, I think many times they see the beauty (or money in some cases!) and don't realize that there is an ugly side too!

Here are some examples of the less desirable parts of surrogacy:

• No sex now for 16 weeks.  That means nothing in the vagina except medication for 16 weeks.  I was joking with my IM the other day about this and she said to get creative.  That brings me to my next point.
• Vaginal suppositories are no picnic.  One of my surro friends will not work with a clinic that uses vaginal suppositories.  The progesterone suppositories are the size of quarters and I have to do 3 of these a day. Gravity sucks and what goes in, sometimes comes out... A lot of oozy white mess.  Kinda hard to be 'creative' in the relations department when you have that going on down there... At least my husband is serviced.  Even worse when you are wearing a black bathing suit bottom at the beach and of course no panty liner... more bonus points when its Memorial Day Weekend and the beach is crowded and there is no TP in the bathhouse either DOH!
• Pantyliners for 14 weeks during hot summer and while running sucks and its smelly.  I constantly smell like sweat.  Yuck!! I never wear pads/panty liners any other time but the constant oozing requires it.
• The constant oozing has me running to the bathroom multiple times a day just knowing that I started severely bleeding.  It is never blood, but I am constantly worried that it is.  
• Compensation-- Sometimes you don't get compensated until you are nearly in the second trimester.  Compensation is a touchy subject for most-- some people get a lot of money, some don't get compensated at all.  Some people start compensation at beta (I recommend this if you are being compensated or at least splitting the comp between beta and heartbeat because in the event that there is a miscarriage, then the surrogate is still compensated for the time she was pregnant and taking the medications because go back to the top-- medications suck!)
• When making appointments, you are not the only person whose schedule must be considered.  Intended parents want to be there as much as you need to be there.  Sometimes it means changing your own schedule so that IPs can attend an appointment.  Considerations most don't think about when signing that contract...
• Speaking of contracts, there are many things I am not allowed to do according to my contract.  Get dental cleaning in the first trimester, eat queso at Mexican restaurants, no manicures or pedicures, no lunch meat, no soft cheese, and darn it, I cannot change the kitty litter (most of these my IM said -- meh, it was in the standard contract, if my baby wants queso, give the baby queso!

While I just highlighted a half a dozen negative aspects of surrogacy, none of the negate the happy outcome of the journey itself.   The journey to get to the end result is beautiful, the scenery and the experience amazing, even if there are a few pot holes or wrong turns along the way.

As an update to the baby, we will be having another ultrasound next Wednesday, June 4 which is also my son's 4th Birthday <3 Wish us luck, prayers, good grow baby vibes-- whatever you've got!  We are hoping to see a nice strong heartbeat for this baby because the fetal pole was barely visible (if at all) at the last ultrasound.  At the time of the first ultrasound, we were 6w6d pg and the next one we will be 9w1d pg.  So we need good vibes!