You never know who you will touch...

Without going into too many details, today I talked to a man who had been facing infertility problems for years with his wife.  This is a business man who had bent over backwards to help us make a big financial decision and helped us immensely.  He drove 2 hours to Kurt and I and as I was talking to him while driving on base he casually asked me how many kids we had.  I laughed and said 'Three... so far, but I am sure we aren't done yet, but I am carrying a baby for another couple as a surrogacy'  He was flabbergasted, just taken aback that someone would do this for someone else. 

We talked more in depth and we both agreed that it was ironic that we would meet today... the same day his wife started her cycle once again so it meant that once again, they were not going to be expecting a baby.  This hit her rather hard knowing that their teenage niece would be having a baby any day from an unplanned pregnancy. 

It's sad.  It's hard.  It hit me in the gut... why? Because I know so many women/couples who are unable to have a baby for one reason or another.  Why do these couples have to get the 'Why don't you just adopt?' question or 'If God wanted you to have a baby, he would allow you to have one!'  Both of these arguments are not only invalid, but they are ignorant!!  I may never know the feeling of inadequacy that comes with infertility, but I hope I am never that inconsiderate to have those horrendous words uttered from my mouth. 

The point of this post is to remind people that infertility is real.  It sucks.  And it is a condition just like any other medical condition.  Would you tell someone that has cancer "Hey you have lived 30 years, God wants you to die now"?  No.  Think about your words before you say them. 

And a little note, be proud of your convictions.  Are you a surrogate?  Tell the world.  You never know who you will touch with your kindness.. Infertility does not have a specific face.  You cannot look at someone and know that they have had problems conceiving.  Sometimes you give someone hope by knowing there are other women like you that are willing to carry a baby for someone else just to see their dreams come true... So talk about it... don't be ashamed.  Educate people to get that negative stigma taken away from surrogacy.


And as a total side note to this whole posting... My head is freaking killing me!!!!   These estrogen tablets give me awful headaches.  Can't wait to start the progesterone again so I can balance out these hormones...