Life Ain't Always Beautiful...

Life aint always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart

Life aint always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day

But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it's sweet time


Happiness does sometimes have a way of taking its sweet time.  Sometimes the joy of the journey is found on the ride to get to the destination.  Slow down, take it in, enjoy those small moments.

This week was not a happy one but it was full of happy moments.  That sounds weirdly optimistic doesn't it?  I am not happy how that cycle ended by any means.  But I am happy that I have my best friend and husband at my side to support me and that I have the best IPs any girl could ever ask for. 


My IPs and I are on the same page.  I caught some grief this week about posting a smiling picture after my D&C.  It was my FB but I could understand how it could potentially hurt someone who has faced infertility or a loss in whatever way.  I apologized for being insensitive.  My IM did not feel pain over my picture.  She felt relief that I was well physically and because of that, I am ready to cycle again whenever it is time to do so.  She was outraged that someone would suggest that maybe I hurt her by posting such a thing.  She is in my corner and I am so lucky that I have someone so supportive of everything I do and say.  She truly is a blessing and though this road took 6 years to get here, we know how this feels to go through this together.  We know what the feelings are.  This is not our first time at this particular rodeo. 


What is next? I have been asked this a lot.  Everything went well physically with my D&C.  I need to wait for my next period, then I would be able to start meds for our next transfer.  My period should be in 4-6 weeks with transfer another 2.5 weeks after that.  The clinic is closed for August for annual FDA cleaning so it looks like we won't be able to cycle again until September.  But that is okay.  I get to give my body 3 months of a break. I get to get back in shape and lose the weight I have put on from 2 back to back cycles and 10 wks of pregnancy.  I get to train for my half marathon in September and I get to enjoy my summer vacation with my family and as Dr. Steingold (My RE) put it "You get to drink heavily and enjoy your vacation!"  Well the doctor said to do it... so maybe just maybe at the Luke Bryan Concert I am going to at the end of this month, I will have a few adult beverages, let my hair down and enjoy this time that was stolen back for the summer.  It does not mean I would rather do this than being pregnant, but I have to find the silver lining somewhere.

Cheers!